Baby Interrogation, KittEhh Fits, and Statuses Galore

May 23, 2013 Leave a Comment

Score more likes, share these…

Funny Facebook Statuses Galore:

  1. Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
  2. I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”
  3. That awkward moment when someone skinnier than you says “I’m so fat.” and you stand there like (-_-)
  4. Laughing so hard no noise comes out so you just sit there clapping like a idiotic seal.
  5. I don’t care how old I am. If I lose my Mom in the supermarket I will panic.
  6. Erase the messages, delete the numbers and move on. You don’t have to forget them but just accept that they aren’t that person anymore.
  7. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
  8. “Do you want to try a bite of mine?” “Nope. I ordered what I like.”
  9. A house isn’t a home unless there’s wifi.
  10. Showers: never want to get in, then never wanting to get out.
  11. It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
  12. If you call shot gun while being arrested it should be respected.
  13. Facebook etiquette: Thou shall not hold a conversation under someone’s status post.
  14. An “ear of corn” looks nothing like an ear.
  15. Does anyone else get bothered by that last inch the shower curtain wont cover?
  16. In my next life, I’d like to come back as someone who has a life.
  17. Fun Fact of the day… A computer keyboard has more bacteria than a toilet seat.
  18. If slow-walkers only knew the pain of the fast-walkers trapped behind them, they may just speed it up a little.
  19. I hate it when you drink water and the ice attacks your face.
  20. My neighbor knocked on my door at three in the morning! Can you believe that? Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

If I Fits I Sits…

Cute Kitty sits in Cup

What’d you get yourself into this time Kitty??? Dawwwwww, I’ll help you again ;)

Interrogating a Baby:

YouTube Preview Image

What an adorable little one :) Perfect for her debut role in CSI: Sesame Street.

Lots of statuses, funny pics, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , ,

Real Toy Story, Drifting Cats, & StatusGrams

May 22, 2013 Leave a Comment

Get more LIKEs share these…

Status Updates for Facebook or Instagram:

  1. The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what’s inside.
  2. My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me. Jerks
  3. Are we having some drinks, or are we havin’ some DRANKS? I need to dress appropriately.
  4. I love “cereal for dinner nights.”
  5. Marriage is the only legal way to trade cash for sex.
  6. Those of you who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” don’t really get how the whole “dead” thing works, do you?
  7. A zombie boyfriend will love you for your brain and not your body.
  8. This world is not going to make any progress until we stop perpetuating the belief that “paper” beats “rock.”
  9. I feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together.
  10. There’s like 7 billion people in this world and I have like 4 friends.
  11. If your girlfriend doesn’t like that bitch, you don’t talk to that bitch.
  12. Girl’s logic: When you like a guy, do nothing about it and expect him to magically know and make the first move.
  13. The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.
  14. You think I’m not online.
    But I’m always here.
    Even if I’m not liking/commenting.
    I’m here.
    Scrolling.
    Judging.
  15. If two people are arguing and one person says, “You know what…” that argument is about to get awesome.
  16. At the beginning of a relationship, I wonder if women rub their hands together and say “Let the games begin!”
  17. Damn girl! Do you have 11 protons? Because you are sodium fine.
  18. That awkward moment when your in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize you are staring directly at someone.
  19. Whoever the fuck thought of the idea for pants with fake pockets should be placed in a mental institution.
  20. Don’t stress the people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

They are really real…

The toys from Toy Story are real!

I knew it!

Cats Drifting:

YouTube Preview Image

Check out the turning radius on those bad boys! What a thrill :)

Lots of statuses, funny pics, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , ,

Chihuahua Reaction, River Monsters, & TOP Statuses

May 20, 2013 Leave a Comment

This week on Facebook…

Top Facebook Status Updates:

  1. Those nights when you can’t sleep, you just might be in someone else’s dreams.
  2. A ghost could be humping you right now and you would never know.
  3. They should make Jack Daniels chap stick.
  4. When someone tries to impress you, it means they’re impressed by you.
  5. Advice of the day ; Don’t be a douche.
  6. When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
  7. I don’t need a stable relationship, all I need is a stable internet connection.
  8. Dating sites should have a section for people to leave a review for the person they went out with.
  9. That awkward moment when you’re actually telling the truth, but you’re laughing so everyone thinks you’re lying.
  10. Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
  11. Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
  12. Here’s your social security card. It’s paper & has to last you forever. Don’t laminate it. Good luck! -The Government
  13. Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper, “No one gives a crap”
  14. “THIS IS NOT AN ASSIGNMENT YOU CAN DO THE NIGHT BEFORE.” Challenge accepted.
  15. I’d swim across the Ocean for you. Lol, Just kidding. There’s sharks in there.
  16. My ex and I were happy for a long time, but then we met each other.
  17. I don’t need to walk a mile in your shoes. I can see you’re a train wreck from all the way over here.
  18. They say forgive and forget. but never forget why you had to forgive.
  19. I wonder how many Dads name their boy’s Luke just so they can tell him, “Luke, I am your father.”
  20. When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

River Monsters to the EXTREME:

River Monsters TV Show

Jeremy Wade bravely poses with the 5ft long goliath tigerfish caught during an expedition up the River Congo in Africa (Source: Imgur) Would you hold that fish???

Chihuahua doesn’t want to take a bath…

YouTube Preview Image

Guess the puppy doesn’t like baths :) but then again, who does?

Lots of statuses, funny pics, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , , ,

Fik-Shun Dance, Spider Sighting, and Awesome Status Ideas

May 17, 2013 Leave a Comment

Score more likes, share these…

Awesome Facebook Status Posts:

  1. That awkward moment when you check the time on your phone, don’t remember what it said.
  2. I’m a responsible person. People are always saying “I know you’re responsible for this.”
  3. Tell someone, “You wore that shirt the day after yesterday” and see how long it takes them to get it.
  4. I’m really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don’t care.
  5. Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
  6. Are you a beaver? Cause dam.
  7. I decided to face reality today and I definitely won’t be doing that again anytime soon.
  8. I’m sorry I offended you when I called you a bitch, I honestly thought you knew.
  9. I’m having one of those days where when I get home I’m going to lean against the door, and slide down it while dramatically sighing.
  10. Exercise…ex…er…cise…..ex…ar…..size……eggs…are…sides….for bacon. Bacon.
  11. Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They laugh and call you something even more offensive.
  12. My room isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
  13. I’m sorry I keep looking at your chest while you’re talking. It’s just so beautiful. What is it, oak?
  14. I look at my phone every time I hear the text or ringtone sounds in commercials.
  15. I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
  16. “I’m a ninja!” “Dude no you’re not!” “Did you see me do that?” “Do what?” “Exactly.”
  17. Tombstone request: Born a virgin, lived a virgin, died a virgin. The engraver shortened it to: ” Returned unopened.”
  18. I hate it when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the script.
  19. We all know a douche bag named Kyle.
  20. I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

When I see a Spider…

When I see a Spider

Share if you feel the same way!

This Kid CAN DANCE! His name is Fik-Shun and he’s awesome:

YouTube Preview Image

Welcome, to the interwebs, Fik-Shun!

Tons more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Check back on Monday for more funny status updates!

Filed Under: Facebook Status Updates Tagged With: , ,
« Older Posts